"Hey! What happened to episode 3?"
"It got cut out of this dub."
"WHY?! The world should not be deprived of the wonderful Jessie!"
"It was too boring."
"Not boring. The script writer just hadn't seen that episode in a long time and didn't want to screw it up."
"Isn't this already screwed up?"
"That's the whole point."
Episode 3 - Challenge of the Samurai
"Yay, I've got a Caterpie AND a Spearow! Aren't I the coolest?"
"Ekanss." (You didn't mention me.)
"Who cares about you?"
Ekans bit her. Jessie lost her temper again and grabbed Ekans by the neck (wherever that is).
"Stop biting me, I'm supposed to be your master and..."
James sighed to himself as he saw Jessie and Ekans fighting again. The only time those two gave it a rest was when Jessie was fighting with him.
Suddenly he stopped dead in his tracks.
A small, harmless looking Weedle crawled slowly along the ground and blinked at him innocently. He squeaked and leapt up the nearest tree.
Jessie looked after him in mild consternation. "Let me guess, another bug?" Her eyes searched the ground until she saw the Weedle.
"Oh, cute. Poison. I like poison. Ekans, you're supposed to have an advantage here. Poison sting attack!"
Ekans slipped through Jessie's hands (she still had him in a death grip) and faced the Weedle. It liked battling, and started peppering the bug with its poison sting. The Weedle cringed and stared up at it pleadingly with puppy-dog eyes.
"Sshaaa..." (Don't be pitiful.)
Ekans couldn't take the pathetic cuteness any more and turned away. "Ekans ekans."
"What do you mean you won't fight it? *sigh* Go, Spearow!"
"Good stuff! Peck it!"
Weedle was hit and tumbled backwards, dazedly.
James nervously decended the tree. "Good, good, you keep it busy. I'm going to go over here now..."
"Wimp," muttered Jessie, but focused on the battle, if you could call it that. "Okay Spearow, leer."
James walked quickly through the forest, looking around furtively. "I hate bugs I hate bugs I hate bugs."
A small Caterpie crawled past and he squeaked again.
"I HATE BUGS!"
He heard a rustling in the bushes behind him and whirled, on his guard immediately. But not quickly enough. He found a blade at his throat.
"Not again..." he groaned.
"Not again, you say? Young lady, I suggest you not scream so loudly next time, unless you want to wake up the whole forest! Are you the trainer from Pallet?"
"WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I'M A FEMALE?!... and no, I'm not. Why do you want a trainer from Pallet?"
"I must find the next challenger from Pallet! For I am the Samurai of Viridian Forest!"
"You're a weirdo, that's what you are," muttered James irritably.
"I must go seek out the trainer from Pallet."
The samurai ran off, and James stared after him in bewilderment.
"Trainer from Pallet... hey, Jessie's from Pallet. This could be interesting. I better warn her though."
He took off at a run through the bushes, hoping to reach her before the samurai did.
"Okay, Pokeball, go!"
Jessie's aim was spoilt as someone's cry distracted her.
"Great, I missed it. Who are you?"
"Are you the trainer from Pallet?"
"That's me. Who're you?"
"I am... THE SAMURAI!"
"Uh huh... I think one of us is suffering delusions. Cut down on the illegal substances."
The samurai sweatdropped. "Don't underestimate me! I challenge you to a Pokemon match!"
"Just a sec, I have to catch this Weed... oh great. Look, you distracted me and it escaped. I am not impressed."
"Will you fight then?"
"Yup, go for it. My first proper battle."
"Hahaha, no worries. Gooo, Pinsir!"
The bug Pokemon appeared and clicked.
Ekans hissed at its opponent. They glared at each other with hostility.
"Pinsir, guillotine attack!"
Pinsir moved to grab Ekans with its horns, but Ekans dodged and slapped it with its tail.
"Poison sting attack!"
Ekans' eyes glittered and shot from its mouth fine needles of poison. They easily drove into the Pinsir and it fell over.
"This is really too easy. Wrap it, Ekans!"
Ekans began to coil itself around its opponent, but the Pinsir clacked its fangs and at an order from its trainer, bit the snake Pokemon.
"Shaa," growled Ekans, and tried to stare down the Pinsir. It glared, quite effectively.
"Jessie!" a voice suddenly came. Jessie and Ekans turned in surprise.
"Some wiener who calls himself a Samurai is trying to kill you!"
Jessie blinked at James. "Good timing, James." She gestured toward the other kid.
"Eh heh..." James facefaulted. While Ekans was distracted, Pinsir took the opportunity to tackle it.
Jessie cursed. "Look, you distracted me. Ekans, wrap attack."
Ekans coiled around Pinsir and squeezed it hard. As it did, Pinsir caught a coil in between its horns and crushed tightly.
"Ekans, return!" yelped Jessie, the beam from Ekans' Pokeball hitting the snake Pokemon. For once, it was happy to go inside its ball, in order to escape, but once there, the ball shook violently.
"You want to stay out," sighed Jessie, and opened the ball. A dazed Ekans materialised and flopped down over her feet.
"Pinsir, return," called the Samurai. "Okay, second Pokemon... go, Metapod! Oh, and kid - stop talking so loud. You'll wake up sleeping Pokemon."
A Metapod materialised. Jessie sighed. "Oh great, my poor Caterpie will become that stupid thing some day. Guess I should try it out. Caterpie!"
She threw her Pokeball and the caterpillar appeared.
The Caterpie looked at its evolved counterpart thoughtfully.
"Caterpie, string shot!"
Caterpie blinked at her, and instead of obeying, began to glow.
"What attack is that? That's not string shot! That's -"
"It's evolving!" exclaimed the Samurai.
Jessie watched, pleased, as Caterpie formed Metapod.
"Okay, we're making progress," she said.
"Metapod, harden!" called the Samurai.
"Metapod, harden!" called Jessie.
"Harden some more!"
James groaned. "This could be a looong battle."
Ekans sighed. "Sssha."
"Oh, stuff this... Metapod, tackle!"
The Samurai blinked as his Metapod was hit. "How can it do that?"
"What are you talking about? Pokemon don't forget attacks after they evolve."
"Oh... don't they?"
Jessie sweatdropped. "You're a novice. Why were you looking for me anyway?"
"Um... the other three trainers from Pallet all lost to me, so I was hoping to find someone who could actually train Pokemon. I think you're it."
"Haha, Cassidy lost? Excellent!"
"It's not nice of you to revel in other people's disappointments. And on a side note, will you go out with me? You're cute."
Jessie facefaulted. "Um, no thanks. It's my policy not to date... um... people who try to kill me."
"I won't ever again!"
"It's my policy not to date people who... uh... specialise in bug Pokemon."
"You have bug Pokemon yourself!"
"Oh fine. It's my policy not to date idiots. Are you happy now?"
The Samurai sweatdropped. "Metapod, get that Metapod with your... uh... harden attack!"
"Ooh, my Metapod is quivering with fear," said Jessie sarcastically, "string shot!"
The Metapod continued their enthralling battle until James and Ekans fell asleep. Finally, Jessie's Metapod won, because the Samurai's didn't know any real attacks.
"Fine, you win," grumbled the Samurai.
"That's it? No money? No badge? No prize? No Pokemon? No ANYTHING? I just wasted half my afternoon on a tedious Pokemon battle so that you could tell me I WON?!"
"Keep your voice down!"
"I WILL NOT! JAMES, EKANS, WAKE UP! We're LEAVING this loser forest!"
James and Ekans woke up.
"Uhh, I feel like crap," groaned James. "I hate sleeping in the afternoon and then waking up."
"Uhadf? You actually won?"
Jessie was about to drag her friends along with her and leave the forest, when she heard the sound of a droning buzz...
"Seems to be a droning buzz," said James.
"Yes, I can tell that."
"Beedrill," said the Samurai, thoughtfully. "I told you to keep quiet. You've woken them up."
"Oh, who cares. I'm not afraid of bees."
"Be quiet, James. If you don't bother them, they won't bother you."
"You're thinking of bears."
He shrugged, but still looked nervous.
"They're coming," commented the Samurai.
He didn't need to comment, really. It was pretty obvious by the way the sky was suddenly filled with dozens of Beedrill.
"Umm, Jess, let's go," groaned James.
"I have to agree on this one," said the Samurai.
"You two are both wimps. They're just... eep."
Jessie trailed off as the Beedrills began to fill the clearing in which they stood. Some divebombed her Metapod, but the rest targeted James. Jessie picked up her weakened Ekans and draped it around her neck, for whose protection wasn't known.
"Ow ow ow ow!"
All that could be seen or heard of James was a whine.
"Jessiiiiie, I didn't bother them but they're sure bothering me!"
Jessie sweatdropped. "Spearow, go! Beat these Beedrill! Hey, that sounds cool. Beat... Beedrill. It almost rhymes."
"Jessie, stop that and help me!" whined James, who still couldn't be seen for the swarm of Beedrill surrounding him.
Jessie wasn't sure what to do, as one Spearow was trying its best, but against dozens of Beedrill...
"I suggest a... tactical... retreat," she admitted, before diving into the swarm, grabbing and pulling (well, more like carrying) James out, and running off with Ekans still around her neck. The Samurai picked up his fainted Metapod and ran behind them.
"Into my house! Quick!"
Jessie followed the Samurai into a small house in the depths of the forest. Spearow flew close behind her. They slammed the door behind them and watched in shock as several Beedrill needles slammed into it.
Jessie deposited James and Ekans on the floor.
"This is your house?" she asked.
"Yep! Do you like it?"
"Not really. But I guess we'll have to stay here for the night, kid. Why do you live in this little dump in the middle of the forest anyway?"
Jessie didn't seem to be expecting an answer, so the Samurai prudently kept his mouth shut.
"Why did they attack the ones I was travelling with except you?" Jessie asked Ekans.
Ekans shrugged, as much as a snake can.
"C'mon, there must be some sort of reason."
Ekans poked its tail into her backpack and pulled out a can.
"What's this... Mortein? Bug repellent? Wimp."
Ekans hissed with laughter.
"Um, I hate to bring this up, but you left your Metapod out there," said the Samurai finally.
She looked around the room and groaned as she realised he was right.
"I'll go back and get it in a few minutes."
A few minutes passed while Jessie rested. James seemed to be unconscious on the floor, but she just ignored him. Eventually, she stood up, ready to go back out to find Metapod.
Suddenly outside, it began pouring with rain and the sun set.
"That was... sudden. Fine. Guess we're stuck here overnight..."
"Good, they're all sleeping," whispered Jessie, as she crept through an early morning forest, full of Beedrill, Kakuna and Weedle, all asleep. Since the poison bugs were the focus of this episode, no other Pokemon were to be seen.
"Metapod!" she whispered loudly. She wanted to call, but there wasn't much chance of that.
Then her sharp ears caught a sound.
"There she is."
She stood up. "Who's there?" she asked, turning to the source of the voices.
"Prepare for trouble!"
"Make it double!"
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
"Keep it down you guys! You don't have to shout! You're gonna wake up the whole forest!"
"No interruptions, please... To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Team Omanyte splash off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"
Jessie blinked. "Wasn't it 'blast off' last time?"
Misty sweatdropped. "You needn't have such a photographic memory. For your information, we revised the motto and made it much better."
"All you did was change one word."
"Oh shut up."
"Look, did you two want something? I'm kind of busy."
Brock jumped down so he was standing in front of her.
"I want something... you're cute. I want you. Hehehehe..."
Jessie sweatdropped. "Weird kid. Get away from me, please." She took a step back.
Misty sighed. "Brock, cut that out. We're here to take her Pokemon, not ask her out on a date."
"I don't have any of my Pokemon with me," said Jessie. "And all my Pokemon suck anyway. Why would you chase me for them?"
"Actually," said Brock, still wearing a dopey expression, "I only chase you because you're so beautiful and spirited and..."
Misty smacked him over the head. "Shut up Brock! We're chasing you for revenge! You foiled our plans in Viridian!"
"Geez, how many people are going to follow me for revenge purposes? Anyway, it was James who foiled your plans in Viridian."
Misty and Brock looked at each other.
"She's right," said Brock.
"So sorry about that," apologised Misty. "Ignore everything we just said. We'll go after James now."
Jessie groaned and pushed them both away. "Good, good, go!"
"Um..." ventured Misty, "would you mind telling us where we could find him?"
Jessie laughed. "You two have a lot to learn about being villians. Get lost, would you? I have to find my Metapod."
"A Metapod? Hahahahahahahahaha!"
Misty started laughing and couldn't seem to stop. Jessie got increasingly angry.
"WILL YOU SHUT UP?"
Misty wouldn't, and finally collapsed. The egg she held in her arms fell to the ground and started crying.
Jessie, Misty and Brock clapped their hands to their ears.
"Oh gad, make it shut up!" pleaded Jessie.
Misty couldn't hear either of them, just begged Togepi to stop crying. It wouldn't.
Suddenly, even the piercing screams of Togepi were drowned out, by an ominous sound... a repeat episode... the sound of buzzing.
"Look, your stupid Togepi woke up all the Spearow," growled Jessie.
"Spearow? Those are Beedrill."
Jessie sweatdropped. "I'm a beginning trainer. Give me a break. Besides, I got confused with the Japanese version."
"Uh... huh... let's get out of here!"
Brock jumped up and grabbed Misty and Jessie, ready to run. The place where he grabbed Jessie, however, wasn't one she appreciated, and she whacked him over the head.
"Stop your theatrics, you two," snapped Misty, "let's go."
The three began running, until the Beedrill were all out of sight.
"Phew," whispered Jessie, before tripping over something. She began to swear, but trailed off as she realised what it was.
"Metapod!" she exclaimed in relief. It looked a bit battered, but mostly okay. "Good thing you used harden so many times, right?"
Metapod glared at her.
"Sorry, sorry! I came as soon as I could. It rained yesterday, after all."
"Metapod." (Yes, I know.)
She sweatdropped. "Sorry 'bout that. Anyway, I came as soon as I could to find you. Ready to go back in your Pokeball?"
It glared at her again.
"Don't do that, you'll paralyse me," she said. "I'll carry you if that's what it takes. I'm not leaving you here."
"Touching," said Brock, meaning it. He leaned over Jessie's shoulder. It took her a moment to realise he wasn't looking at Metapod, but down her top.
"WILL YOU CUT IT OUT! Geesh, you're very perverted for a kid. I hate to think what you'll be like when you're grown up."
"I'll be a real... lady's man." Brock tried to smile suavely but failed dismally.
But Brock didn't have time to sit around admiring the scenery. ^_^;; The sound of Beedrill started up again. Team Omanyte and Jessie looked to the sky in anxiety.
"This is getting tedious," sighed Jessie, as the Beedrill began divebombing them. Jessie instinctively leaned over Metapod to protect it. Brock, despite being hit by twin needle attacks, still managed to appreciate this. Misty hit him over the head.
The Beedrill attacked Misty and Brock. A few dared to tackle Jessie, but mostly she remained unharmed.
"Not fair," protested Misty, as she was hit in the stomach by another Beedrill, "just 'cos she's the main character!"
"No," smirked Jessie, "I still have bug spray on me from when I was holding Ekans."
The other two facefaulted, but didn't get up again after that. Jessie looked at the two with mild concern, then forgot her concern as she remembered Brock trying to look down her top.
"Come on, Metapod," she said grimly, hugging it to her, and they began to run, again.
Metapod looked up at its trainer with new respect. Despite that she was running, she didn't seem too afraid. Now it wasn't afraid either. It began to glow, and Jessie dropped it.
"Yow, hot! What are you doing, Metapod?"
It glowed brightly and broke open.
"Don't die!" she protested, still not realising what had happened.
The cocoon split and a butterfly Pokemon flapped its new wings.
"Flee, fu fleeee," it said. ("Not dying, stupid, evolving.")
Butterfree flapped its wings and rose into the air. It faced the Beedrill with a fierce expression, then began to flap its wings.
"Sleeping powder?" asked Jessie, and Butterfree nodded.
However, there were lots of Beedrill, and the sleeping powder had to go a long way. It seemed to work as a stun spore instead, because the Beedrill were slowed down rather than forced to sleep.
"Um... we'd better keep running," sighed Jessie, and Butterfree nodded.
They kept moving.
Jessie may be the main character, but that doesn't mean her Pokemon are anything terrifically unnatural.
"Ready to go, James?" asked Jessie, tugging at his arm. He opened one eye and groaned.
"Jessie, don't touch my arm, it hurts."
"Okay, I'll go without you then. After all, this is my journey, you're just tagging along without my consent."
James jumped up. "No, I'm coming, I'm coming! But why are you waking up so early?"
"Early? I've been up for hours! James, it's 10am!"
"I don't get up until 1! Jessie, can't I go back to sleep! Wait! Wait, come back!"
James sighed before running/limping after her. The Samurai would've waved goodbye to the two heroes, but he couldn't be bothered.
He was sleeping in instead.